Stories Part 1

Well, it’s been interesting. I definitely rely on God for everything  from energy to study really late to finances and most importantly my identity.  Sometimes I feel extremely close to God and have had some amazing experiences with him. From prayer times while walking to class to sharing Christ with friends I feel like God is using me here at school and I am becoming more confident that he has a great plan for my life. However there are also times when I feel very far away from the Lord. I know this has to do with seasons or times when I have been walking in sin, or haven’t made God a priority, other times it may just be part of having a relationship with him…no relationship can be exhilarating all the time.  However no matter how I feel, I know that God is working in my life.  I love him, trust him and desire him more today than I did when I graduated high school. With this said, I have made many mistakes in college and have not always honored the Lord through my actions or attitudes, but I am realizing that my relationship with the Lord is not defined by how well I “perform” but it’s defined by His grace.

I also feel like God has used this time to break me down. He has shown me more of my sin and my heart in the last year than I ever thought possible. However, it hasn’t been in a condemning way, but as God reveals more of himself to me, he also has shown me how prideful I am and how He should be praised and not me. My greatest struggle right now is pride… I want to change, but part of me doesn’t. I guess that’s part of following Christ –He reveals himself to us and as we struggle and wrestle with him He forms us into his likeness so that He receives all the glory.