The series continues…My last few posts are letters e-mailed to me from college age students describing the status of their relationship with God.
God and I are in a special place. He just knows me so well, and more than ever I feel the pursuit of His heart in my life – to have all of me. I feel His movements in my arrogance, in my selfishness, in my disobedience, in my relationships, in my success. He is relentless. He is completely unsatisfied with any part of my heart being captive to lies. Even when I am growing, I sense His desire to take me even further… to a place I do not know. I do not feel pressured by Him, but I feel energized by Him. I really feel He’s leading me (in each situation) to a place of freedom and wholeness!
I feel like I am in a place with God where I feel if I am not walking with Him, I am missing out. Seriously missing out. I feel like God is teaching me I can trust Him. That’s radical you know! To really trust and rely on this unseen God whom I seemingly have a relationship with! But I do. I have a relationship with the unseen God. And that unseen God is teaching me to trust Him.
Sometimes I think walking away and living my own life could be better, more fun. A lot more fun to be honest. Sometimes I feel like I get bored. And truth be told I have even tested those waters this semester. It’s hard- this whole relationship thing. It takes a lot of work sometimes. It takes a lot of me working to keep my heart open, and asking for His help (which I really don’t feel like doing a lot of the time). It takes a lot of community and digesting truth. To be honest, I really don’t know too much about this unseen God. I read about Him and I talk about Him a lot. But the one thing I do know: I have never been more satisfied or more whole than when I am walking with Him. So, I am going to keep walking with Him and asking for His help to do so. Because I really believe He’s worth it. His freedom, His wholeness, His love – He’s worth it.